rewatching: PIXIV > 52495150 (in safety of this radiant light)
hisashi watanabe ( 渡辺久庇 ) ([personal profile] rewatching) wrote in [community profile] outfields2015-10-06 11:50 pm
Entry tags:

#noriforace2kforever

[summer numbers. a year ago it seemed like an impossibility, a mirage he'd have no part of, their age still waiting in the wings as they followed the backs of their seniors, the other front-runners who walked before them like giants.

hisashi doesn't have a number in his hands, and at first that had hurt, a lot. he still feels brittle and hollow, all those months of toil bringing nothing but a scorebook in the dugout and no chance at bat, when he thinks about it, but it's never been just about him. the team means too much to him to be angry with his teammates, instead of himself.

and when nori is finally wearing the one hisashi knew he could take, that's their age standing on stage, their giant walking among them.

it's getting late in the evening when he finds nori, sun down and the team scattering to dorm rooms. it takes him five minutes of peeking around before he follows his instincts and passes through the cafeteria to the opposite exit. there.
] Nori. [ he moves carefully into his space, hands linked in front of himself casually. ] Don't stay up too late, ace. [ he smiles, and there's honesty in it. ]
sidewind: (33)

i am screaming and dying but in a happy way

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-10-07 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
[it doesn't feel real.

it feels like a lot of things, sort of, but real is certainly not one of them, not by a long shot.

after what feels like a lifetime, a goddamn entire hundred-year human lifespan of working and scrapping together what little natural talent he possesses and molding it, day after day, hour after arm-numbing finger-bruising hour, into something not only usable but something formidable that nobody can deny any longer... he's here. he did it. he earned it.

most other things, at this moment, are completely escaping his notice. he's just... there, dumbfounded, still too shocked to really feel the joy and satisfaction he'd expected to be immediate. he's probably going to be like this for weeks and the rest of the guys in his year are going to have no mercy on him for that, but right now he doesn't care.

and then a voice, speaking to him: ace. that part comes more clearly than his name moments before. ace. god, holy shit, that's him.

he focuses-- and there's nabe, smiling at him, chiding him gently and maybe not entirely seriously; nori just kind of looks at him for a second, trying to get the brainwords -> mouthwords thing to work properly, and a small laugh wells up from somewhere in his chest. if it were more energetic, it might sound hysterical, but right now it just sounds like incredulity.]


I won't, don't worry... [he can't even think of anything smarter to say.]
sidewind: (14)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-10-11 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[the fingers against his back ground him somewhat, warmth and the steady reality associated with it trying to seep into shocked numbness and replace it, and that feels good.

he sighs, smiles, tilts his head, and with a breathier chuckle:]
Maybe. I think it feels less like a dream and more like... a really elaborate and well-executed prank? I feel like I'm waiting for someone to be like, just kidding! and take it back.
sidewind: (19)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-10-13 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[he listens, absorbing nabe's words, grateful for the straightfoward speech-- he responds best to no-nonsense statement of fact, things presented in a way that he can't argue with or back down from, it helps him focus and remember how things are and what he can do.

he was just going to agree, honestly; he knows it too, he's worked so, so hard and even he can't deny that he's earned this honor. it's easier to accept because it doesn't mean his work is done. but that last bit-- amazing-- that gets him a little. that's a kind of straightfoward he's not sure what to do with.]


...oh. [his face is kind of hot and his voice is a little small. flattery gets him flustered easily, especially when it's this genuine.] Thank you, I hope... I hope I can keep living up to that. I hope I can keep making you proud.
sidewind: (55)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-10-24 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
[they're really kind of a pair in that respect.

will ace ever stop being jarring? he's hyperaware of everything, from the title to the gentle deliberateness with which he's being touched; it all feels like shocks of exclamation points in his chest, raising his pulse for a couple of seconds each time. his gut reaction is to return those little gestures, but that seems too deliberate.

he was looking down at where their hands touched for long enough for it to be obvious, but he raises his gaze, expression serious-- that one face he makes when he's really made up his mind on something.]
I won't let you down. You or the rest of the team. ...I can handle whatever you throw at me.

[probably.]
sidewind: (2)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-10-29 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
[okay, well.

okay.

okay, yeah, there's no ignoring that, really, no rationalizing it away, no it wasn't what it seemed, and his face is warm again-- not just his face, he's flushed to the tips of his ears this time. he's being encouraged, he knows that, and he'd literally just said he could take anything thrown at him, and while this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind when he'd said it... well, it would be a lie to say he didn't want it.

his own movements are a little jerky in his shyness; the way he has to fumble to get his wrist at an angle where he can slide his fingers between nabe's probably leaves something to be desired, and he laughs a little at himself, a habit born of self-deprecation but one that stuck despite slow but steady growth.

he can be brave, when he needs to be, he thinks. that's what got him this far.]
That's-- that's good. Knowing that you believe in me... helps. It makes me feel stronger.
sidewind: (5)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-11-11 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[he squeezes back, reflexively, and he's smiling too, equally reflexive, and luminous in a way that he wasn't a moment ago. he laughs again, an uncommon chirrup of a thing, shy but so, so pleased despite a small fear lingering in the back of his mind that this whole day is too good to be true-- he nods anyway. fear doesn't own him anymore.] Yeah, I-- I felt that way too. Um, about finding motivation in... you, I mean, even when I wanted to give up, and-- yeah.

[okay, rein it in, you're getting rambly.]
I would thank you too, but... we'd just get stuck going back and forth, probably? [has this sort of thing happened before? yes.]
sidewind: (2)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-11-16 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[what's protocol when you've never been considered, by yourself or anyone else, dateable, let alone kissable?

what's protocol when the moment feels like something out of a movie, and everything else falls away because nothing else in the entire world matters outside of the realization that you are wanted?

he could have kept going about nabe being an inspiration-- they're two of a kind in at least one significant aspect, intimately familiar with failure and simply not being as good as other people at what they do, familiar with the falling down and the getting back up and the asking of what can I do now? how can I continue from here? and he knows it's no mean feat. he understands that so well that it hurts.

but even that means little right now. the question feels sort of out of left field, but maybe not-- not that he minds, honestly, because nabe is bright and beautiful in ways he could never apply to himself (or anyone else, at this point), sharp and observant and attentive and how...? did he end up in this luckiest of spots? it was something that should have been reserved for dreams, something far-fetched that he knew in his heart of hearts he wasn't meant to have, but here it is, laid out before him in the form of nabe's voice, their hands entwined, reassuring him.

he catches himself leaning in, backpedaling a little because it seems like it would be more polite to offer a verbal response:]
...I wouldn't mind at all.
sidewind: (14)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-11-22 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[he could never have expected anything different. he had never done too much imagining, as too much of that generally tends to lead to things like disappointment and heartache, but this is... beyond anything that's entered his mind, anyway, and yet still completely within the realm of yes, this makes sense. funny how that works.

he's shy, at first; he always is, no matter what new thing he's trying he always starts off a little too cautious, a little slow to adapt, something easily mistaken for ineptitude or lack of drive, but it's only moments before shy uncertainty blossoms into warmth and steadiness, joined by a heady rush of boldness that sweeps through him and has him lifting a hand to cradle the side of nabe's face as if to draw him further in. it almost feels like it'll be too much, but the worry seems distant, and he isn't afraid right now. not one bit.]
sidewind: (13)

[personal profile] sidewind 2015-12-12 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
[not that he could ever be anything else; he's long since learned that he isn't built to emulate others, and the best way for him to succeed is to slowly, piece by piece, embrace the things that set him apart. if asked, he certainly wouldn't be able to explain what exactly a very nori kiss is like, but as he's done with baseball, he'll learn to make this his own as well, in time.

hopefully it's something nice enough to do more than once, because he's feeling like he's going to combust from happiness, enough where he finds himself smiling too much to continue kissing, and he breaks away with something suspiciously like a giggle.]
Ah-- sorry, sorry, I just... [yeah, no, that's an actual giggle.] I'm-- happy.